I'm not over you, can I get back under?
Pretty much everything is packed. Must finish my clothes and then start on the kitchen. It's like, I don't even want to start the work involved in packing and cleaning out a kitchen. Lame.

I'm starting to get really excited. I think I'm going to really like my new place, and I'll probably end up staying there for a while. I'm ready for a change, and ready to start over too.

Not everyone knew this (ie family) but I started smoking again after Vegas. I mean, come on, it's Vegas! What did we all expect? But I am now on my sixth day without. I'm using an herbal supplement that is really helping to keep me calm and collected, but it also makes me just a little nauseous and it might be making it hard for me to sleep at night. I don't know, I just haven't been falling asleep like I usually do. But that might also be a combination of a lot of stress and a lot of excitement. Anyway, I'm really hoping to kick the habit for good this time. I'm just tired of quitting. And in order to do what I really want and be who I really want, I just can't be a smoker. The biggest help is biking everywhere now. It's hard to combine those two. And I feel way cooler on my bike than I ever did with a cigarette between my fingers. That's how cool biking is. Everyone should do it! Drive less! Yay!

I'm craving physical affection much, much worse than nicotine. But I refuse to depend on others, and I'm forcing myself to embrace patience. I'm allowed to dream big, and that's what I'm doing now. And if I get what I want, I'll be one very lucky woman. Until then, I'm planning it all in my head and walking around with a constant smile on my face. And surviving without affection, which is something I've never really been able to do for long.

Braithim uaim tú...